Transcription of the Audio File "Judgment"

In the Name of God, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful
With strength drawn from the Absolute Power of God, we begin this session.
Hello, friends. I am Amin, a companion and the guardian of the session. This is a private educational workshop intended exclusively for second-journey travelers and companions.
I kindly ask everyone to observe fourteen seconds of silence to seek refuge in the Almighty and free ourselves from our greatest enemy—our own ignorance and unawareness.
(Fourteen seconds of silence observed)
Thank you, friends. I am Amin, a companion. Are there any other travelers present?
My dear friends, I am truly happy to be here with all of you. God willing, with His help, we will have a productive and rewarding session.
I now request our esteemed secretary to provide a summary of the previous session and announce today’s agenda.

Hello, friends. My name is Zahra, and I am a traveler.
(Audience responds: Hello, Zahra!)
In the name of the Absolute Power of God, today the first session of the 35th round of Congress 60 workshops, dated December, 16th, 2009 is held with the agenda “Judgement”. The session started under the guidance and supervision of Mr. Amin Dezhakam and me Zahra as the secretary at 5:00 p.m.
(Audience applauds)

Dr. Amin Dezhakam:
Thank you.
The reason I chose "Judgment" as today's topic is that we had discussed it on another occasion, and many of our friends asked if they could have a copy of those teachings. Unfortunately, that talk was never recorded. So when the opportunity arose, I thought it would be worthwhile to revisit the subject here.
Most of what I will discuss today concerns the mechanism of judgment—how it operates, the processes it sets in motion, and the effects and consequences that follow from it.
Before we get to the subject of judgment itself, I'd like to spend a few minutes talking about some of the laws that govern existence. Once we've laid that foundation, we'll return to the main topic.
One of the conclusions we've reached through the teachings of Congress 60—and through the practical experiences that have grown out of those teachings—is that many of the laws we observe in fields such as science, mathematics, and physics are not limited to the physical world. Those same laws can also be applied to the human being and to the hidden dimensions of our existence.
What we need to do is discover where those correspondences exist. We have to identify the similarities, find the missing pieces of the puzzle, and fit each one into its proper place.

One of the most fundamental concepts in physics—one that plays a central role and serves as the foundation for many of its laws—is the concept of force. Nearly everything studied in physics is based on the effects that forces produce and the laws that govern their behavior.
In physics, the fundamental forces of nature are generally classified into four categories: gravity, the electromagnetic force (the force of electrical attraction and repulsion), the strong nuclear force, and the weak nuclear force.
In the language of Worldview, the equivalent of force is sense. Just as force produces motion in the physical world, sense is what initiates movement within every living being.
There are, of course, other factors involved. But if a person has no sense or feeling toward something, they cannot truly move toward it or act upon it. And even if they intend to act, they must first develop that sense. Only after it comes into being can genuine movement take place.

Now, the way these forces operate is governed by a set of laws.
One important principle is this: whenever a force comes into existence—whether it is a force of attraction or repulsion, or, in the language of Worldview, whenever a sense comes into being—it requires two poles.
This is especially true of gravity and, even more clearly, of the electromagnetic force. If a force is to exist, there must always be two poles.
Think of a positive and a positive charge, or a positive and a negative charge.
When two electrical charges are alike, they repel one another. But when they are opposite, they attract one another.

The same principle applies to mass. For a gravitational force to exist, there must be two masses—for example, the Earth and the Moon, or the Sun and the Earth.
A single mass, no matter how large it is, cannot create a force on its own. Likewise, a single electric charge, however powerful, cannot produce a force by itself.
The significance of this is profound: for a feeling or a sense to arise, a favorable environment by itself is never enough.
This has important implications, especially in sociology. People often say, "Society is unhealthy, and that's why people become corrupt or self-destructive." But even a society with ideal conditions is still only an environment—a setting, nothing more.
In the same way, a massive object merely creates a gravitational field around itself. That field simply provides the potential for attraction. Likewise, a powerful electric charge creates an electric field—a suitable environment in which attraction or repulsion can occur—but by itself, it can do nothing beyond creating that field

Suppose we place a neutral particle inside a very strong positive electric field. No matter how powerful that field is, nothing happens. There is neither attraction nor repulsion. The same is true with a very powerful magnet. If you place a piece of wood near it, nothing happens. But the moment there is even the tiniest fragment of iron attached to that piece of wood, a strong attractive force immediately comes into play, and the wood is pulled toward the magnet. That tiny piece of iron is what provides the second element—the second pole required for the force to exist. This same principle is applied in the treatment of addiction. In Congress 60, we believe that true recovery occurs only when every trace of impurity—everything related to addiction and substance use—has been completely eliminated and reduced to zero. Once that reaches zero, even if a person is surrounded by people who are using drugs, the force of attraction or repulsion is no longer there.

Many times, some of our Congress 60 members have used this example when speaking elsewhere. They say:
"Even if the whole world were using drugs, I could walk right through it without being affected."
What they are describing is precisely this principle.
Now, let's set that point aside for the moment, because there are other ideas that build upon it.
So far, we've established that sense—or feeling—requires two poles. This applies to every kind of feeling, whether positive or negative. For any feeling to arise, there must always be two corresponding distributions. Suppose I develop a positive feeling toward a person, a place, or even a natural setting. Why does that happen? Because a feeling has been created.
The reason is that the person, the environment, or nature itself provides one side of the equation—a suitable field. But within me, there must also be a corresponding quality, a complementary attraction. Only when these two come together does a feeling emerge.
Whether that feeling is pleasant or unpleasant depends on the interaction between those two complementary parts.

If that quality or characteristic I observe in another person does not exist within me, then no matter how close I come to that person or that environment, no feeling will arise.
So the corresponding quality must already exist within us.
Now, this principle applies not only to our positive qualities, but also to our negative ones.
What does that mean?
Suppose I meet someone and I become intensely irritated by them. I can't stand them. I feel disgusted by their behavior, or even a deep sense of hatred.
What does that reaction tell me?
It tells me that the very quality I am seeing in that person—the one provoking such a strong reaction—also exists within me, in one form or another. It has to. Otherwise, I would feel nothing.
A feeling cannot arise on its own, because, just as a force requires two poles, every feeling requires two corresponding parts.
Very often, we notice certain traits in other people that genuinely upset us. We may even convince ourselves, "I'm nothing like that. I'm completely free of that characteristic. I dislike it precisely because I don't have it."
But, as difficult as it may be to accept, we must say—with complete certainty—that the same quality exists within us as well.
If it didn't, it would not affect us so deeply.

Now, here's the important point.
The quality or characteristic in question is like the two masses I mentioned earlier. It may exist in one person to a much greater degree than in the other.
Take the Earth and the Sun, for example. In terms of volume, the Sun is about 1.3 million times larger than the Earth—you could fit roughly 1.3 million Earths inside it. In terms of mass, it is at least one hundred thousand times more massive than the Earth.
Yet the gravitational force between the Earth and the Sun is exactly the same in both directions.
This is Newton's Third Law: the force the Earth exerts on the Sun is equal in magnitude to the force the Sun exerts on the Earth. There is no difference between them.

However, because the Sun is so much larger and more powerful—or, in this case, because it possesses far more of the defining characteristic, which here is mass—it is the Sun that determines the relationship. In effect, the Sun tells the Earth, "You revolve around me." The Sun does not revolve around the Earth because, with respect to that particular attribute, it is overwhelmingly dominant.
The same principle applies here.
If I see an undesirable trait in someone else, even if that same trait exists within me only to a very small degree, the interaction still occurs. The force is still created. Even if you placed a tiny speck of dust next to the Sun, the gravitational interaction would still exist, and the force would be equal in both directions.
Now, one of the distinctions we always make in Congress 60 is between the visible and the hidden aspects of everything.
What does that mean?
It means that a particular quality may exist within me in its visible form—I can recognize it, I am aware of it, and I know it is there.
For example, I may strongly dislike people who lie. Their dishonesty bothers me deeply. Yet, if I am honest with myself, I occasionally tell lies as well. I may even give it another name to make it sound less objectionable, but the reality is that the same trait exists within me. Deep down, I know that I am lying.

There is a scene in The Sound of Music where someone says, "A while ago, I stole a valuable item from someone. Then another person stole it from me. I can't stand thieves!" (laughs)
It's a wonderful example. He himself had stolen something, yet he was saying, "I can't stand people like that. They disgust me." In other words, he could clearly see that very trait within himself.
But many times, the trait is hidden within us. We are not even aware that it exists.
It may simply be waiting beneath the surface—on the verge of emerging.
In Congress 60, we say that everything begins with a seed. Before anything can come into existence, its seed must first be planted. That seed—or kernel—is our desire.
Once the seed is planted, it must fall into fertile, suitable soil if it is to grow. Otherwise, it will never sprout or bear fruit.
There is a significant period between the moment the seed is planted—that is, the moment the desire first comes into being—and the moment it finally sprouts. And from the time the gardener can first see that tiny sprout until it matures and bears fruit, there is another long span of time. That interval is important.

So, if that quality or trait exists within me in its hidden form, it is like a seed lying beneath the soil. It is already present in the ground of my being, quietly breaking open and gradually making its way to the surface.
Sooner or later, it will emerge.
Sooner or later, that seed will sprout, mature, and eventually bear fruit. And what is its fruit? The very trait I once saw in others and disliked so intensely.
It may not happen today. It may take three years—but eventually, it will appear.
For example, I may strongly dislike jealous people today. Yet three or four years from now, I myself may become a jealous person.
This is why people say, "The very thing you can't stand is what eventually happens to you."
The reason is that the seed of that very quality already exists within the person. It simply needs time to grow, mature, and eventually bear its fruit.

This is one of those laws that many people find extremely difficult to accept. In fact, most people immediately resist it. They say, "Me? Are you saying I have that trait too? Me?" It is not an easy idea to embrace.
Now, before we move on, let's summarize the first principle.
The first principle is this: whenever I notice a good or bad quality in someone else, and it gives rise to a feeling within me, that same quality already exists within me—either in its visible form or in its hidden form.
Now let's take the next step.
Suppose the quality in question is an undesirable one. Imagine that another person possesses it to a great extent—let's say one hundred units—while I possess only five.
For example, I encounter someone who is vindictive, cruel, full of hatred, or constantly creating conflict. If I feel hatred toward that person, then the same quality also exists within me.
But what happens if I go beyond simply feeling it?
What if I confront that person? What if I go to war with them?
In other words, because of the negative feeling that has arisen within me, I lock horns with them and enter into conflict. Hatred, resentment, or hostility has been awakened inside me, and I begin fighting on the basis of those very emotions.
What happens then?

The force between the two people is equal in both directions. However, the person who possesses more of that particular trait—let's say they have one hundred units of it, while I have only five or ten... or perhaps it's the other way around (laughs)—experiences that force differently.
The force I exert is distributed across those one hundred units, while the force coming from that person is concentrated on my five or ten. So who feels the greater impact?
The one who carries less of that negative quality.
Imagine two ill-natured people. One is deeply malicious, while the other is only mildly so. If a conflict breaks out between them, driven by that very malice, who suffers more?
The one with the better nature.
The person who is less corrupt, who carries less of that negativity, takes the heavier blow. The impact on them is much greater precisely because there is less impurity within them.
For this reason, it is never wise to engage in conflict with people who have chosen a path away from the Straight Path—people whose lives are governed by those negative qualities. More often than not, such confrontations do not end well.

Of course, let me add one more thing: in this kind of battle, no one truly wins.
The one who appears to be the winner is still a loser, and the one who appears to lose is, of course, a loser as well. In the end, both sides lose.
I'm simply talking about who ends up suffering the greater damage. And in many cases, it is the person with fewer negative qualities—the better person—who is hurt more severely.
Now, think about how this principle has been used throughout history.
People with corrupt intentions often understood it instinctively. When they entered into conflict, they deliberately tried to strengthen the negative emotions in their opponents. They knew their own nature and were fully aware of the depth of their own corruption. So, they provoked their opponents.
Why?
Because they knew that once their opponents entered the battle with those negative emotions, they would become far more vulnerable, suffer much heavier blows, and ultimately be defeated.
That is why they worked so hard to stir up those destructive feelings in others—and, quite often, they succeeded.
But let's leave that aside for now. It's really just a side note, so there's no need to dwell on it.

Now, this feeling that has arisen may be between me and another person, or between me and an entire system. It does not have to involve only one individual; it can also involve a group, an organization, or even a country.
The feeling I have been describing is not limited to interactions between two people. It can exist between a person and an institution, a person and an organization, a person and a nation.
For example, someone might say, "I can't stand that country. I hate Iraq," or "I dislike Arabs," or "I despise such-and-such a group." The same principle applies in all of these cases.
So, what happens next?
The first stage has already taken place: I have developed a negative feeling. That is the first law we discussed.
Now I move to the second stage. I begin to judge.
I receive information through what I see—the person's actions, behavior, and movements. I process those inputs, analyze them, and eventually arrive at a conclusion.
And what is that conclusion?
The conclusion is to condemn the person—or whatever individual, group, or entity—I already have negative feelings toward.

 
It is much like disliking a particular person or even an entire group of people. Once that feeling exists, we constantly search for information that justifies it. In other words, we look for that person's—or that group's—faults and shortcomings to validate the emotion we already carry. We tell ourselves, "The reason I dislike them is because they're so terrible. Look at all the wrong things they do. Look at their behavior."
Then what happens?
This is where the second stage begins.
I start to judge. I compare, evaluate, and eventually pass a verdict.
This is the stage I want to focus on, because something important happens here.
The moment I condemn a person or a group and decide that they deserve punishment—even if that judgment exists only in my own mind, in my heart, or in my thoughts, and no one else is even aware of it—something harmful takes place.
In fact, two things happen.
People often think of conflict only as fighting with weapons—a gun, a sword, or something similar. But conflict has always existed; only its form has changed. At one time it was fought with knives, stones, bows, swords, and maces. Later it was fought with firearms, and today it appears in many other forms as well.
These are not the only ways people wage war.
Conflict does not always involve face-to-face confrontation, insults, arguments, or physical violence. There are many other ways to fight.
What I want to emphasize is this:
The moment I judge someone, harbor negative feelings toward them, and sentence them to punishment, the instant I issue that verdict, it is as though I am sitting here with a battery of missiles. I press a button, the missiles are launched, and they fly straight toward that person's territory, striking it directly and exploding there.

It is as though I launch a fleet of fighter jets, artillery, or other weapons toward the city of that person's existence.
When those weapons reach their destination, strike, and explode, that person may be thousands of miles away from me. We may not have seen each other for years. Yet something happens within them. An inner explosion occurs. They may suddenly feel a wave of anger, resentment, or distress. They may have a disturbing dream or find themselves unexpectedly unsettled.
But one thing is certain.
The missiles we build with steel and machinery may miss their target. The missiles launched from the human heart and mind toward another person never do. They always reach their destination.
It makes no difference whether that person is thousands of miles away or even in another galaxy. Distance has absolutely no role in this process. None whatsoever.
Even if they were separated from me by thousands of light-years, the impact of what I have sent would reach them in the blink of an eye. Just as communication occurs instantaneously within the other realms or circles of existence, the same principle applies here.
At that point, that person—or that system—enters into open conflict with me, and the battle begins. From then on, I must expect them to launch their own missiles back at me.
It may involve one person. It may involve two. But consider how much destruction even a single conflict can cause.
Think about the devastation of a war between two countries. Think about the damage caused by a war against an entire land—or even against a small city.
Conflict is always destructive.

Now imagine how many of us are carrying on this kind of war with dozens of people at the same time. There are many who are fighting these battles every single day and every single night.
Just think about how much energy and strength it takes to keep so many conflicts alive, and what an enormous price a person must pay to sustain them.
The cost is tremendous.
All of those destructive feelings sent from the other person eventually return to me, leaving me with a deep sense of heaviness and exhaustion.
Very often, the burdens people carry arise from this very law of judging and condemning others.
But this inner war has another harmful consequence.
What is it?
As I said before, that very trait already exists within me. Let us suppose that this dark characteristic—this undesirable quality—is like a highly skilled professional killer.
A truly professional killer commits the crime so cleverly that when the detectives and investigators arrive to examine the scene, all the evidence points to someone else. An innocent person is arrested, put on trial, and may even be executed instead.
History has seen criminals so skilled that innocent people were convicted and executed in their place, while the real murderer remained hidden for years—sometimes twenty years or more—only to be discovered later through some extraordinary twist of fate. In some cases, they had gone on to murder dozens of people before finally being identified.

The commanding self—or, in other words, the negative, self-defeating part of our being—is exactly like that professional killer. It operates in precisely the same way. Its level of skill and mastery is no different.
It carries out its work so cleverly that all the evidence appears to point toward someone else—another person, another group, or another system. It is so skilled that it leaves us completely convinced that the problem lies elsewhere.
Now think about it.
When a murderer commits a crime and an innocent person is executed instead, what does that mean?
It means the real murderer is walking the streets freely, with complete peace of mind, already planning the next crime.
The very same thing happens within us.
When an undesirable trait exists in me, but I notice it only in someone else, fix my attention on them, condemn them, and go to war with them, two things happen simultaneously.
First, I pay the heavy price of that inner conflict and hostility.
Second, the real culprit—the negative trait within myself—is left completely free to continue its work. While I am busy fighting someone else, it quietly makes plans for its next move. And that is precisely what I should fear, because it is a master at what it does.
These two consequences occur at the same time.
This entire process is set in motion by judgment—by unnecessary judgments, by condemning others, and by the comparisons that I continually make.

Now, suppose I interrupt that process. Suppose I stop fighting and stop condemning the people in whom I see qualities that I dislike—qualities that disturb me.
Perhaps I live in a system that I cannot stand. Perhaps I live in a city or a country that I dislike. Maybe I have moved abroad, or I work in an organization where I constantly feel uncomfortable and dissatisfied. Any of these situations can happen.
If, in those circumstances, I consciously stop the process of judging, something entirely different begins to happen.
The outcome is the exact opposite of what it was before.
The killer who had been moving about freely now loses the protection it once had.
Previously, the spotlight—the searchlight—was focused somewhere else, leaving the place where the killer was operating in darkness. But the moment I turn that spotlight in a different direction—when I stop judging that person, that group, or that system—the conditions begin to change.
A new opportunity is created.
I become able to see the hidden, impure trait within myself.
That realization may not come immediately. It may take three months.

The greatest obstacle on the path of purification and inner refinement is not removing darkness.
The real obstacle is failing to see it.
As long as a person cannot recognize the darkness and the undesirable qualities within themselves, they will never begin the work of purification.
The entire effort of the commanding self, or the hidden negative aspect of our being is directed toward one goal: remaining unseen.
Because the moment that hidden "killer" is identified and exposed, everything changes.
It is like a wanted criminal whose picture suddenly appears on every television screen. The authorities announce, "Anyone who captures this person will receive a reward of five hundred thousand dollars."
From that moment on, the criminal can no longer move about freely. He cannot walk the streets as he once did. He has no choice but to hide—perhaps in some remote village, among cattle, or in an old stable—anywhere he can avoid being recognized.
Once he has been identified, his freedom is gone.
All the places where he once moved about comfortably and carried out his activities are no longer safe for him. He can no longer operate as he did before.

The moment a person recognizes that dark quality within themselves, I believe that more than fifty percent of the work of purification has already been accomplished.
Very often, if you point out one of these traits to someone, they immediately respond, "No! Me? You're mistaken. I'm nothing like that. That quality doesn't exist in me at all."
And in a way, they are telling the truth.
They genuinely do not see it. If they cannot see it, how can they say whether it exists or not? So when they insist, "It's not there," they are speaking honestly, because it is invisible to them.
Even if everyone in the world came together and tried to convince me that I possess a certain negative trait, it would make no difference as long as I remain absorbed in judging others.
Someone may constantly criticize the company where they work. They continually pass judgment on it. Or they constantly complain about the city or the place where they live, always condemning it.
This is not really about whether that place is good or bad.
That is the point I want to make.
It is entirely possible that the place where I live is genuinely unpleasant. It is entirely possible that my workplace is, in fact, a very difficult environment. That is a separate issue.
What matters is this: the moment I begin judging and condemning it, a series of harmful consequences is set in motion.
On the other hand, even if I am working in a truly difficult place, if I do not engage in that process of judgment and condemnation, that place no longer has the same destructive effect on me.
In fact, something remarkable can happen.
What once seemed like a very bad place may gradually become a good place for me.
That transformation is entirely possible.

Even if all the sages in the world gathered together to tell me, "You have this particular flaw," they would not be able to awaken me—as long as I remain caught in this constant cycle of judging others, day and night.
And this is a mechanism, a system, that a person may remain trapped in for years.
Until I stop that process, no teacher, no master, no wise person can wake me up and say, "My friend, this is your real problem. This is the negative trait you carry within yourself."
They simply cannot. They cannot help me. It is impossible.
There is another interesting trick at work here.
That part of us—the Self, or whatever name you prefer to give it—that hidden force which is carrying out all of this, constantly whispers to us:
"You're incredibly perceptive! What an expert you are! You can spot everyone's faults. You know who's stealing, who's cheating, who's taking advantage of others. Your insight is so sharp that no one can fool you. Nothing escapes your watchful eye. You always catch them. You see every flaw. You uncover people's mistakes in no time at all."
This is what it tells us. As I become increasingly absorbed in finding other people's faults and condemning them, I begin to believe that I possess exceptional insight—that I am unusually observant and highly knowledgeable. I imagine that not everyone is capable of seeing these things the way I can. But that is not what is happening.
It is a trick. A deception. The Self is simply keeping me occupied.
Because if you speak with people like this, you discover something interesting: five years ago, they were talking about exactly the same faults in exactly the same people. Five years later, they are still repeating the very same complaints.
If you were truly so perceptive, then over those five years you should at least have discovered something new.
Instead, you keep repeating the same worn-out, stale criticisms—offering them to yourself and to everyone around you every chance you get.

پSo, the issue is not extraordinary perception at all.
The real issue is a mechanism—a process designed to drain a person's energy by keeping them constantly at war with others, exhausting their strength, and ultimately blinding the very insight that would allow them to recognize their own shortcomings.
That is what this entire process is built upon. Now, with all of that in mind, if you still feel like judging others... go ahead! (laughs) If you enjoy it, then judge. But let me add one more point.
Breaking this habit is not something that happens overnight. It may take months, and it may even take years, because this pattern does not give up easily. Before a person reaches the point where they can truly take their attention away from these kinds of judgments, they may have to struggle sincerely and work at it for many years. In any case, I hope every one of us succeeds in this endeavor. Because I believe that anyone who is able to accomplish this will, without a doubt, become someone whose way of living resembles that of the wise.
They may not become a sage in the fullest sense of the word, but their outlook on life and the way they approach the world will begin to resemble that of wise people and true scholars.
After all, the truly wise never occupied themselves with these kinds of judgments.
Thank you all for listening so attentively. I appreciate every one of you.

Question: You spoke about judging others. How should we respond when someone repeatedly judges us?
Answer: Now we're looking at the other side of the issue.
When someone judges another person, they certainly place a heavy burden upon them. In fact, if you walk into a place where people have been judging you, you can often feel it. The atmosphere feels heavy. Their judgments create that heaviness and place that burden on the person.
But here's the real point.
Have you noticed that if someone dislikes something, other people often turn it into a joke? They keep teasing that person with it, and everyone enjoys the game.
For example, imagine someone hates pumpkins. People start drawing pictures of pumpkins for them, sending them pumpkin-themed gifts, and constantly joking about pumpkins. The teasing just goes on and on.
How long does it continue?
As long as that person still dislikes pumpkins.
It could go on forever.
The same principle applies here.
As long as a person remains sensitive to other people's opinions and draws the energy they need to live from other people's approval and acceptance, the arrows of others' judgments will always wound them deeply.
But once a person reaches the point where praise makes them happy, yet criticism no longer disturbs them—where negative judgments simply lose their power—then those judgments no longer have the same painful effect.
There is, however, one essential condition. The very trait or characteristic being judged must truly change—or disappear. Let me give you a practical example.
Suppose I am addicted to drugs. The police stop me on the street and say, "Hey, addict! Come with us. What are you using?" My whole body trembles, and I become deeply upset. Or someone points at me and says, "Look at him. He's high. He's using." They are talking about me, and I feel hurt and ashamed. Or imagine my younger sibling goes to school and another student says, "So, how's your addict brother doing?"

How long do these judgments remain painful? Only as long as that characteristic still exists within me.
I may even quit drugs abruptly—go through cold-turkey withdrawal—yet the comments still upset me. Why? Because the underlying trait has not been healed; it has only been pushed out of sight. It is still there beneath the surface. That is why those remarks continue to hurt.
Now imagine someone who has come to Congre 60, has truly recovered, and has even become a Congress 60’s guide. If someone says to him, "Hey, junkie!" What happens? Nothing. He has no reaction at all. He might smile. He might even burst into laughter. He may joke with the person who said it.
In fact, he may actually enjoy hearing it, because deep inside he knows he is healthy, while they mistakenly believe he is still an addict. The reality is exactly the opposite of what they think.
But now consider the opposite situation.
Suppose a person is still addicted, yet everyone believes he is healthy. They may even think he is a very classy, respectable person. They might say, "What a great, raspy voice he has!"
Yet he himself knows that he is still an addict, and that his raspy voice is the result of his addiction. Will those compliments make him happy? No.
Because he knows the truth about himself. So, as long as that characteristic still exists within a person, being judged will always be painful.
But once that characteristic has truly disappeared—once it has genuinely been corrected —those judgments no longer have the power to hurt.

Question: If possible, could you please explain the difference between desire and decision?
Answer:
That topic alone could fill an entire session!
A desire is like a seed, a kernel, or a grain. For a genuine desire to come into existence within a person is, in itself, a long and remarkable process. There is an entire story behind the birth of a true desire.
Think of a single grain of wheat. Before it can produce thousands of acres of wheat, that one seed must first come into existence. In fact, creating that single seed is far more difficult and significant than growing thousands of acres from it.
The same is true of desire. A genuine desire is an extraordinarily important thing, and for it to be born within a person requires a profound and often complex process.
Now, what about decision-making?
A decision comes into play when a person reaches a crossroads or faces a choice. They find themselves in a particular situation, consider different possibilities, picture various courses of action, and then commit themselves to either carrying them out or not. Of course, that decision may later change.
In other words, a decision is about how you choose to act—whether you move toward your desires or away from them. But desire itself is a completely separate subject. There must first be a desire before there can be a decision. Without a desire, there is nothing to decide.

Question: When we are deeply hurt by other people's unfair judgments, what should we do to avoid being harmed by them? And what is the proper perspective on this?
Answer:
It's exactly what I was saying earlier.
When other people's actions or judgments upset us, if we become trapped in those painful feelings, they turn into a veil—a barrier. That sorrow or distress created by their judgment becomes a veil over our perception. Once that veil is in place, it prevents us from seeing many important truths.
But there is another way to respond. Instead of becoming imprisoned by the criticism or fault-finding of others, we can use it as a tool to discover our own shortcomings. We can use it to recognize qualities within ourselves that ordinarily remain hidden—things we would never notice under normal circumstances. So sometimes, by upsetting us, other people actually help us.
That is, if we can move beyond the pain and use the experience to gain deeper insight into ourselves. The people who benefit us are not always those who make us happy. Sometimes our enemies serve us better than our friends. Think of someone who is perfectly content, sleeping peacefully until noon. Such a person is completely unaware of what is happening around them and can easily become the victim of an attack or a robbery.
Now compare that with someone who is so troubled that they cannot sleep through the night. Ironically, because they are awake, they may catch the thief trying to break into the neighbor's house. In that sense, being awake—even through discomfort—can be far more valuable than sleeping peacefully in ignorance.

Question: I no longer find myself judging the people around me, but nothing has changed with my traveler. He is still in the first stage of the journey.
Answer:
I'm not sure I completely understand the question.
Do you mean you are no longer judging your traveler, or your traveler is judging others, or other people are judging your traveler? Which one do you mean?
You said, "I no longer judge the people around me, but nothing has changed with my traveler."
If other people are judging your traveler, then they need to stop doing that.
If your traveler is the one doing the judging, then this teaching about judgment needs to be passed on to him so he can understand how this mechanism works.
But let me point out something very important.
Not every issue can be solved simply by stopping judgment.
There are two key points here:
First, if a traveler becomes offended by their guide—if they become resentful or take the guide's words personally—that traveler will not recover.
Second, if the traveler starts thinking in place of the guide—questioning every decision the guide makes, constantly asking, "Was the guide right or wrong? Why did they say this? Was this the correct decision or not?"—that traveler will not recover either.
Perhaps that is the real issue.
The traveler may never say a word. He may not openly judge anyone. Yet all of these arguments and judgments may still be taking place silently within his own mind.

Question: If every negative trait that we strongly dislike also exists within us, then it seems we may have an inflated opinion of how good we really are. In your view, does every negative quality that I dislike truly exist inside me, even though I sincerely try to live a righteous life?
Answer:
Look, let's take an example that is very familiar to us.
Someone who has truly recovered from substance use—not merely stopped using, but has genuinely been treated and is no longer a consumer, whose system has been restored, perhaps even someone who has become a guide—does not hate addiction, nor does he hate people who are addicted.
At the same time, he does not want society to be filled with addiction. He does not like seeing people trapped in substance use. He does not want society to be polluted by addiction. He wants people to be healthy. He wants them to enjoy good lives. He wants young people to grow up free from addiction.
In other words, a person who has truly moved beyond a problem no longer defines life by saying, "This is what I hate." Instead, they define it by saying, "This is what I love and what I want to see." What I am talking about is hatred and deep aversion. A person may not approve of a negative quality, but that is different from hating it.
For example, someone may say:
"I do not accept resentment. I don't believe it is the right way."
Or:
"I do not accept hatred in any form."
Hatred is never acceptable, regardless of the circumstances.
Whether there seems to be a reason for it or no reason at all, hatred is not something that should be embraced.
The person no longer experiences that intense feeling of disgust or hostility. It no longer disturbs their inner peace. That is what I mean.

Question: If someone is involved in a major court case and has genuinely been wronged, and the whole situation constantly occupies their mind, does thinking about it still make it stronger?
Answer:
Whenever something painful happens in life, it doesn't really matter what the situation is. The more a person dwells on it with negative feelings—with fear, suspicion, or pessimism—the more it drains their strength.
For example, they may keep thinking:
"What if they bribe the judge? What if the verdict is overturned? What if they're all corrupt? What if they've made a deal behind the scenes?"
The more these thoughts dominate a person's mind, the more they weaken them.
Now, when I appear before a judge, the judge is experienced in reading people. Most judges are, in a sense, psychologists. They observe the person standing before them. They notice their state of mind.
Negative thoughts and unhealthy thinking show themselves on a person's face. They wear a person down. They darken the expression, drain the vitality, and leave someone looking tense, worn out, and exhausted. When the judge sees someone in that condition, the person may simply appear suspicious or troubled.
That alone can have an effect. It is a very important point. But beyond that, there is a general principle:
Whatever a person continually thinks about, they give energy to.
This principle can be clearly observed in the world of thought. Every time we dwell on something, we feed it with our energy. If the thought is positive, we strengthen it with positive energy. If the thought is negative, we strengthen it with negative energy. When we constantly entertain negative thoughts, they draw energy from us—we do not draw energy from them.
In other words, we become the source that feeds those thoughts. They continue drawing energy from us, becoming stronger and more powerful. And where do they use that energy?
The day we decide to leave the darkness behind, they use the very energy they took from us against us. It's like someone who spends years buying drugs from a dealer. They pay him one hundred thousand, five hundred thousand, even millions over time. Then one day, a dispute arises between them. Perhaps the dealer cheats him, or they become enemies. What does the dealer do? He uses the very money he received from that person to hire someone to attack him.
The money that originally came from me is now being used against me. (Laughs.)

Question: Should we also avoid judging our traveler? Doesn't judging them only drain our own energy and create an ongoing inner conflict?
Answer:
Yes.
If that kind of judgment continues, then your home will always be a battlefield. There should not be a war inside the home, because it produces nothing but exhaustion and destruction. Evaluating a traveler's progress is the guide's responsibility. It is the guide who observes the traveler's performance, assesses it, and makes the necessary judgments.
But if I constantly occupy my mind with thoughts like:
"What if they used more than they admitted?"
"What if they used less?"
"What if they're hiding drugs somewhere?"
"What if they used cocaine?"
"What if they secretly tried crack?"
If my mind is continually filled with these kinds of thoughts, then something important happens.
For love to flow between two people, there must be an open channel. There must be a pathway through which love can travel from me to you, and from you to me. If that channel becomes blocked, then even if genuine love exists between us, it can no longer reach the other person. The connection is cut off.
Thoughts like these often have exactly that effect between husbands and wives. They prevent the love they truly have for one another from being expressed and received. As the poem says:
"Surely there can be no serenity when our hearts are in turmoil.
If love does not reach us, then poison reaches our souls instead."
In our relationships, only one of two things is transmitted: Either love, or poison. There is no middle ground.

Question: What if we notice someone's fault but make a conscious effort not to judge them or pass a verdict? What should we do in that situation?
Answer:
I didn't say that you should never judge under any circumstances. Judgment has its proper place.
In fact, we are constantly making judgments. But those judgments should concern the matters that belong to our own lives. When it comes to the important decisions that affect my own life, I must exercise judgment. Without it, my life cannot move forward or improve. That kind of judgment is necessary.
The important point is that this must be kept separate from judging other people. The scope of my judgment should not cross into another person's territory. And I should never judge matters about which I do not have sufficient knowledge. That is another important principle.
Now, the issue I was discussing today is this:
Suppose you are in a position where making judgments is actually part of your responsibility.
For example, you are a Marzban (a border-guard in Congress 60). You see that someone has broken the rules. Simply recognizing the violation is not the problem. But suppose that, after seeing it, you begin to hate that person. You develop negative feelings toward them and start thinking:
"This person is ruining Congress 60."
"They're destroying everything."
"They're the source of corruption."
Once hatred or resentment enters your heart, the situation changes. If you then take action against that person, your action is no longer pure.
Even if, from a legal or organizational standpoint, that individual has genuinely violated the rules of Congress 60 and disciplinary action is justified, the moment your action is driven by personal hatred or resentment, it is no longer a sound action. Outwardly, it may appear to be the correct action. But inwardly, you are merely discharging your own emotional burden.
So, there is nothing wrong with seeing a fault. In fact, the ability to recognize a mistake is a valuable quality. However, if recognizing that fault is accompanied by negative emotions, then that is not the right time to judge or pass judgment on that person.

Question: What if a large number of people all have a negative opinion of someone and agree about that person's faults? Where does the problem lie?
Answer:
It is entirely possible that their observations are correct. They may genuinely be right. There is nothing wrong with people not having a favorable opinion of someone. However, if that person is to grow, then those of us who are close to them—whether family members, friends, or those around them—have a responsibility. Our responsibility is to provide an environment in which that person can grow.
And what kind of environment is that? An environment where they feel safe. If I am constantly under the threat of other people's judgments, I cannot experience peace. Such a place is not a suitable environment for my growth. If, wherever I go, people are waiting to find fault with me, attach labels to me, or criticize me, then that environment does not help me develop.
A safe environment is one in which people do not sit in judgment of one another—except when doing so is part of a clearly defined responsibility or role.

Question: If I dislike a negative trait in someone else, and that means the same flaw exists within me in a hidden form and may grow over the years, what should I do to prevent it from growing?
Answer:
Did that scare you? (Laughs.) Don't worry.
As I said, that quality is there only as a seed—a kernel, a potential. Many of our members have said, "I hated addiction. I was disgusted by it. But somehow, I ended up becoming addicted myself." That's exactly what I mean.
The seed was already there. But for a seed to grow, it needs the right environment. So don't provide it with fertile ground. A suitable environment for weeds is polluted water and contaminated soil. Without that kind of nourishment, weeds cannot flourish. Likewise, if I gradually stop the process of judging others, those hidden seeds within me will slowly begin to dry up. Remember, it isn't only good seeds that can wither.
There is a story about a farmer scattering seeds. Some fell on dry ground. They sprouted for a short time because there was a little moisture, but eventually they dried up. Some fell on rocky ground. Others were eaten by birds. Only the seeds that landed in fertile soil were able to grow and bear fruit. Just as good seeds need fertile soil to grow, bad seeds do as well.

Question: Is it possible that the negative trait we dislike once existed within us, but we have already overcome it and left it behind?
Answer:
Yes—it is possible, but in that case, what has really happened is that you have forgotten it.
When a person has truly moved beyond a negative trait, they no longer feel hatred or revulsion toward it. For example, someone whose addiction has genuinely been treated does not hate addiction, nor do they hate people who are addicted. They naturally wish for others to be healthy and free from addiction, but they do not feel disgust or hostility toward those who are still struggling.
If, however, a person still feels intense aversion or hatred toward addicts or addiction, it suggests that the issue has not been completely resolved. They may think they have left it behind, but in reality they have only forgotten it. The root of that trait is still present within them, and it still needs to be corrected and transformed.

Question: What causes a lack of self-confidence?
Answer:
I struggled with a serious lack of self-confidence myself—very much so. Even now, there are still certain areas where I do.
Self-confidence means that your Nafs (self) trusts you. A lack of self-confidence means that your Nafs—every part of it—doesn't trust you. It's like people who have lost trust in their ruler.
How do people lose faith in a ruler? When the ruler is all talk. He keeps making empty promises, tells lies, makes one pledge after another, but never follows through. Eventually, people stop believing a word he says.
The same thing happens within us. If a person constantly talks about what they're going to do but never actually does it, they gradually become someone who lacks self-confidence.
Suppose I say, "Tomorrow I'm going to buy a loaf of bread, wash a teacup and saucer, and make myself a cup of tea."
Then I change my mind and say, "No, tomorrow I'm going to clean the whole house, wash all the curtains, wash the carpets and hang them out to dry, and even polish the walls."
But I don't do any of it.
The next day I say, "Tomorrow I'll repair the car, fix the washing machine, take the vacuum cleaner in for repairs, and take care of a few other things."
Again, I do none of it.
Then I say, "Tomorrow I'll go settle my accounts and take care of my paperwork."
And once again, nothing gets done.
When this becomes a habit, I'm just like that ruler who keeps making promises but never fulfills them. The people—in this case, the Nafs—no longer trust him. Whatever he says, they think, "Oh, he says things like this all the time." They simply don't believe him anymore.
But if he just makes that cup of tea, buys that loaf of bread, and washes that one glass, little by little, self-confidence begins to grow.
So self-confidence comes from carrying out the actions that first take shape in our minds and then putting them into practice. When we consistently follow through on what we intend to do, our self-confidence steadily increases.

Question: Does the same principle apply to judgments that remain only in our minds?
Answer:
Yes. Judging someone in your mind is no different—it is subject to the same principle.

Question: Darkness exists because of the absence of light; it has no independent existence of its own. So when light and positive values are present, does that make it possible to see the darkness?
Answer:
Yes, it does.
Darkness can be seen—whether it is in another person or within ourselves. The point is that wherever light shines, darkness is replaced by light. You don't "see" darkness while it remains darkness; rather, you illuminate it.
A person can see their own darkness only by directing light toward it. Once they do, they can see how deep it goes and understand its true extent. The same is true when observing darkness in others.
In general, light is essential for discernment.

Question: Could you give us a practical way to stop judging others? It's a very difficult thing to do.
Answer:
Start with the big, obvious things. Begin with situations that are simple and easy to recognize. Start small, and gradually build your ability from there.
If someone decides, "Starting tomorrow, I'm never going to judge anyone again," they'll probably find themselves judging twice as much the day after. That's what usually happens.
Instead, practice with the small, everyday judgments. Keep working on them consistently, and little by little, the ability to refrain from judging will develop.

Question: If we've already judged someone, what should we do to get out of that cycle of conflict?
Answer:
Declare a ceasefire—right now.
Let the last shell you've fired be the last one. In other words, don't send another missile from your side.
The other person may strike again. They strike once and get no response. They strike again and still get no response. Gradually they'll say to themselves, "Why should I keep doing this? What's the point?" Eventually, they'll stop. The conflict won't continue.
But if they respond, then I respond, then they respond again, and I answer back, the war goes on. They want to prove they're stronger than I am, and I want to prove I'm stronger than they are. It's this need to prove ourselves that keeps the conflict alive.
Once one side truly lets go, sooner or later, the other side will let go as well.
Well, that's all. Thank you all for your attention and for listening to the answers to these questions.

Translated by: Companion Marjan
August 5, 2026