نسخه فارسی
نسخه فارسی

How Can We Forgive Others

How Can We Forgive Others

How Can We Forgive Others?


People, who can forgive others, are less depressed, furious and disturbed. All of us have been involved with this question: Can I forgive myself? How can I forgive him/her (the one who has hurt me)? In response, we easily say: "No"," never can I forgive them." Forgiveness is very difficult and sometimes impossible for most of us, while it is not so, and we are able to forgive and also forget people's mistakes. In fact, when we refuse to forgive others, we prefer to stay in the past and relevant problems and blame them instead of taking a step to improve the situation. When we cannot forgive ourselves, we prefer to feel guilty and therefore we will remain in a bad mood.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is different from tolerating people who have hurt us. You are not forced to forgive people, but if you understood that you can achieve peace through forgiving others’ mistakes and dropping or ignoring the events, you will never choose anger, hate and violence. Please don’t forget that forgiveness is the proof of self-esteem. Forgiving, forgetting and feeling free are the intense emotions which are related to the past events. When we can’t forgive someone, we become a disappointed and weak person. In fact, we cannot deny our mistakes, but we can change our behaviors to be hopeful about a more desirable future.

Actually, forgiveness is a kind of preparation for being free from the past pains and it is a decision to end the problems which have been with us from the past. Of course a wrong belief is a part of our thinking, that we can achieve a peaceful mind and thought through following hate, anger, pain and doing routine actions. In this way, we cannot achieve peace. Forgiveness can release us from a prison which is made up of our own fear and anger and we have imposed it on ourselves.

We have experienced the bitter taste of suffering people's bad behaviours in our lives (at least several times). Some pains are short and temporary and we can forget them soon. But when we feel that somebody has hurt us deeply, we encounter a difficult situation: Should I let this hurt remain in my mind and take my happiness or should I use forgiveness as a miracle to heal my internal wounds? Forgiveness heals our internal pains, therefore, it is a good reason to forgive those who have hurt us.
Of course, it is normal to cut some relationships (with those who hurt us). In some cases, however, the only way of being tranquil is to adjudicate.
Today, all patients have been aware of the medicine's dangerous side effects. And they are very eager to know about the negative effects of the medicine (but see how it is possible that they do not take care for the effects of negative thoughts on their body!).
Now, please notice that our health condition is subject to two major factors:

-  Wired factors that are medicine and their relevant effects
-  Wireless factors that are our positive and negative thoughts
It means that, negative thoughts that come to our mind have negative effects on our health. Therefore, if we want to be free from pressure and discomfort which are caused by pains and suffering, we should take care of our thoughts.
As we are careful and sensitive about side effects of medicine on our body, we should be aware that the effect of non-forgiveness, malice and negative thoughts are very dangerous for our body and spirit. For example, some diseases that are caused due to non-forgiveness are: headache, backache, peptic ulcer, stress, insomnia, and disappointment (in psychology, these are called psychosomatic diseases).

Most of us always use medicine for the treatment of our physical illness, while we do not have any attitudes to pathogenic thoughts which we let them come to our minds. And we let things that threaten our physical health, to intrude into our minds easily.
How should we prevent contracting the disease? which medicines are the most powerful and have the most effects on healing the pathogenic thoughts? The answer is “Forgiveness”, certainly. The most powerful and excited medicine is forgiveness because it has the power to cure all of these diseases.
In the next article, we will study that why we cannot forgive while we know non-forgiveness effects on our body and spirit; further, we will discuss what we should do to change this condition?

Author: Co-guide Ali Naadalian, (from Salman Farsi, Isfahan Branch)

Written by: Traveller Ali hBalouc

Translated by: Ms Afsane Khodaei

Date:  23.03.2016

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