Where was I, where I am now?
In our prayers at Congress 60 we pray: God we have experienced the darkness, help us know the light, so we can approach the wisdom command and to return to the place we have started once.
This word darkness, describes the addiction truly.
When I was an addict I had to lie thus my senses where polluted with the vices. When sense is polluted therefore wisdom can’t function properly. That was why I had a mountain of problems at my life and my life was full of void.
I was always avoiding family gatherings and parties. I wasn’t in the mood to talk with them. Sitting at a corner was all I was doing in those family parties. I was becoming nervous by looking at myself in mirror.
Like there is no blood in my face, skinny, and no color.
When I was afraid of seeing my own face, how others were supposed to enjoy being with me?
Another problem which I was faced with was fear, demission and disappointment.
I had to carry my drug at all time, for that I was afraid. When I was high I was deciding to quit, when I was hangover I was forgetting that promise. I was filled with shame.
I was feeling void that I wasn’t able to live like normal people and my life is dependent on drugs.
When I entered Congress 60 after a short time I started to regain my self-confidence, a hope to certain cure was lighted within me.
I learned more and more about narcotics, addiction and worldview, day after day.
I learned to tolerate and to sit with others.
It is now about 7 months that I am attending Congress 60, and my hope to be cured is increasing when I see my guide, and second travelers (those who has completed their treatment process and are in recovery now).
In these 7 months not even once I thought about using narcotics, because my body doesn’t need. I am using the prescribed medicine of Congress 60(OT), and my guide tells me how much to use. When I entered Congress 60 I started my treatment with 16.5 cc of OT but now I am using 4.5 cc of OT. I feel alive and I am not claiming that the tapering off was easy but it was tolerable and I have started to enjoy it.
The quality of my life and my hope for living is very good now. I am 55 years old and I have spent 23 years of my life in darkness of addiction, but today I feel great and I want to thank my dear guide, and Mr. Dezhakam for that.
Written by: traveler Mohammad Reza